1. |
The Living Infinite
01:15
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2. |
I'm Not The One
03:36
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Reeling
Breathing heavily, feeling
That all these walls are closing in and I'm kissing the ceiling
Clenching fists, I'm receding
Into something deceiving
Been try'na steady out my balance just can't help careening
I can tell that you're seething
I can tell that you mean it
And I can tell I'm all too close to the end of the scene, it's
An unsettling sequence
At least that's how I see it
Unsure the reasoning behind how sudden the grievance
I'm a lover but peep, it
Isn't always the scenic
Route you want to believe that it would be
The one you'd frequent
So unfortunately, it wasn't what you were perceiving
Now the gravy is cold, MIA are the peaches
And from here, the road isn't roses, but y'know, so be it
It might unfold that it's more open and holding the secrets
You were hoping to hone in on when the focus depleted
Riding solo and letting go was just what was needed..
I knew it, you knew it too
I mean, real talk:
The good times?
The ones that we had?
They got me weak-kneed and wanting more
Or maybe
I'm pining for a time when it was all
Free of this negative energy and venemous drawl
I mean, wasn't it once?
Shit, I seem to recall
Floating above the clouds, never thinking we'd fall
But then the rain, oh the rain, it would come
And the game, it would change when it came in the form of a flood
Searching for buoyancy, searching for clarity
Searching for all of it, searching for everything
And I'm assuming you know that I find it, lose it
Defiant and diving smoothly in current I'm coming up on
Burning all of these bridges, saving a few planks
It's apparent I have a problem, a problem I can't shake
Stick a stake in this half-truth devil, I'm done...
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3. |
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I've been searching for the sun
And the outlook's gone bleak:
milk curdled up in the corn flakes
I grind my teeth while sleepwalking
Walk turned to a jog,
now I'm being told I'm speed sprinting through the fog
I used to think that I was ten feet tall
Coasting
But at some point, the engine stalled
And I started to see some leg room
Creeping in ever slowly
Tell me what hap' here, Matt Dear, ghostly
Feeling like I had an understanding with my focus
And now it's all bad like Chino?
Lord, I try to keep positive
But this life is full of strife
and it's hard for me to even out the easel
I've been feeling awful evil
Overthinking isn't helping
Drinking isn't, either,
but whiskey isn't gonna put some sort of damper on the day
Until the next is in effect
And I'm a wreck
Ric Flair, veins bulging out my neck
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4. |
Truth Serum
01:53
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Headed up to the roof
Where I'm hoping to find truth
See the questions keep coming
Thwarting my simple pursuit
What's a fella to do?
World been hazy for a minute
but the serum got it coming into view
The moon gone blue
Shit, the moon changed hue on cue
I've dreamt of open route and at last I'm en route
Sometimes life flows like a soda stream
Other times logic goes twisted
Pretzel
Drifting ever further in the distance
I'd rather not be aboard another sinking vessel
So I'm doing my best
to celebrate, catch breath
Maybe get a bit of rest before I move along
Do it little by little to minimize
The white noise, coming on so strong
Went from man to a shell
Walked through hell but it's on with the show
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5. |
That Noise
03:15
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Been thinking 'bout things as the day dissipates to a blur
Salvaging my sanity's tougher than I'd imagined it to be
But I'm over that hurdle and I never thought that would occur
For I started to believe that you done got the best of me
See, once the water's out the well,
You'll notice that you're a little thirsty
And that's when I tend to get most most of the texts and the calls
But if the well's refilled in the slightest,
And this is what irks me,
It starts dawning on you that you were never thirsty at all.
I ain't having it
I'm not having it, fuck that noise
I ain't I ain't having it
I'm not having it, no
It don't matter what help you employ
'Cause I am not having it, fuck that noise
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6. |
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I'm having flashbacks
I'm having flash forwards
I'm in the fast lane dusting off the dashboard
Mastered the pratfall but laughs didn't last long
So off of the asphalt and back into rare form
I do it how I do, no apology forthcoming
All fun and games 'til I learned I'd been
Off putting, hope fleeting, toss turning, same song
Hot, sunny, cold and my nose running, rained on
And on and on
Now, arrival was belated
With evolutions made in the rhythm that's demonstrated
But it's all for the better now, part of the plan
That I doubt I'll ever fully understand, approaching land
Approaching Land from the outer sands
Walked upon the fortunes of a foreign land
Endured the plight of man
Recite the teacher’s words on the other hand
Just to feed my forebears and seed their foreheads
Approaching Land from the outer bands
Walked upon dreariness of sinking sands
Addressed the fallen man
Dressed in whale skins from out the belly of beast
Sharpened my teeth
From west to east
Crept from out the bar bashed
Po’ chalkin the starbender
Codependent emotions and last wishes
Dirt under my fingernails dust encoded my riches
Watch heavy their eyes shiver me timbers
Breathe deep, release the grimace
Ignite the night to set a fire in my queen’s eyes
Foreshortened on a chaise lounge
Down my way now
They shoppin loosies down in K-town
But i’m okay now
Since half a twenty I don’t play round
I only play towns
They say I’m blessed upon it
They rest their heart and soul upon me like a chest of onyx
My mind is hydroponic
My hand’s a gin and tonic
My pens a benzedrine
The way it enter fiends
Lung stream fulfill the dream
I know it physically and mentally
How they kill a man physically and mentally
But don’t remember me
Cuz I been dead since a child who first saw the evil in man
Now just a ghost — Approaching Land
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7. |
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I've been lost in space and time
Pretending everything is fine
Fought underwater so long that I can't quite remember just how to unwind
And that could be why, once I finally reach land
I can't keep my feet planted in the beach sand
The incline's steep
Until I'm tightrope walking like Phillipe
And I no longer feel so obsolete
Can I keep my mind and body in synch
Just long enough to see the clouds give way to the sun
In the past, I've been done before I even begun
So I ask, is this a flash in the pan
Is it more of the same,
Or a rebirth, phoenix from the flame?
For as much as it would seem it's a brand new scene
I'm obsessing, and left with a headful of questions...
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8. |
Thin Comfort
03:26
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I've been driving in circles
Conducting sprawling monologues
For me and me alone.
I feel it helps to keep the peace, right?
See, life's become such a series of blurs:
Another she, another her, another we, another day, another week
Another lover turn to,
"Please shut the fuck up I don't want to hear you speak"
And that's just how it seems to be
Now, if an effort ever surfaced, maybe this would cease
See, I've been known to stumble
Some of my circuits scramble
Honestly, most of 'em do, it's something I'm trying to handle
But then I'm greeted with a fistful of cashews
And now I can't stop thinking about another fistful of cashews
Use me if you have to
Fiend for fleeting passion
What I wouldn't do for an impossible distraction
It's thin comfort, though.
I've been driving haphazardly
And I'm running out of gas
Time to find a new street or two
Maybe I'm driving too fast...
And this headache's building
I was thrilled, I was saving these feelings,
I was waiting for you, but you had other plans
What a shame
Front seat wide open, most baggage in the back
And maybe that's where it starts:
I can't commit to ever cleaning shit out of this car
Then pitch a fit when people can't wedge their way in the door
They get to walking, I start barking and wonder what for
I can't afford another fistful of cashews
All I'm trying to do is stop thinking about another fistful of cashews
And yet, despite the hassle,
Fiend for fleeting passion
What I wouldn't do for an impossible distraction
It's thin comfort, though.
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9. |
My Love Is Away
03:23
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Some days, I wake to ladybug kisses
I love it when my ladybug visits
I hit the snooze for syrupy sleep
Then come to with a couple hot coffees in the kitchen
And possibly a little smoke
But if not, I'm still afloat
Y'see, I never saw God in another's eyes
Now that I have, what a sight to behold...
Other days I wake to myriad stresses
She's never been afflicted with depression, so
Sometimes it gets hard to explain
What I mean when I say that this idea of
Leaving the house or the couch has me going insane
Pleasure decimated by the pressure and pain
But what's new?
Just another hoop to jump through
Criss-cross, back forth's all that I can seem to do, goddamn...
Some nights the feeling is alright
My pessimism isn't in sight
I'm feeling larger than life,
Like that one shirt that Uncle Dave gave me,
Telling me the future is bright
I always knew that it might be,
Doing what I can to see light
It's usually a hell of a fight
But as far as tonight goes, it's a victory
Sitting here, wondering how I let the little shit get to me?
But other nights don't do me favors
Other nights got me in the dumps
It's hard to be the man and in command
When you are stuck in a season long slump
I'm fucking it all up,
Buggin' like Phife's eyes
Stuck in a dumb funk and feeling so pint-sized
Ah, but what's new?
Just another hoop to jump through
Criss-cross, back forth's all that I can seem to do, goddamn...
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10. |
Rising Water
03:31
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Good posture is a lost cause
And his pipe smoke
Is the only thing keeping him balanced on an ever-thinning tightrope
Cloaked in a blanket of grey that's here to stay
And the thought of resting them bones has been ushered away
That's the way the dice roll
Some days you win, and some days you fold
Sometimes, there is nowhere for you to go
Except left to deal with rising water on your own
Where are my heroes?
They're all gone.
Chasing girls around trees 'til the rain came,
Tried to interrupt it
But love wouldn't allow any weather to disrupt them
He found a partner to lay bricks with
And tried to keep calm but the unrest would never subside
Now, despite how it seems,
He raised a family long enough to see them all leave
No time to grieve, though, believe
See, the level of the sea
Ain't concerned with all those that have left you be
Even if the clouds aren't covering the sun
It'd be foolish to think all this work was fun
On his rooftop, laying these bricks one by one
For the one's in the know know the work's never done
And that's the way the dice roll:
Some days you win and some days you fold
Sometimes, there is nowhere for you to go
Except left to deal with rising water on your own
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11. |
The Payoff (w. Kopelli)
03:40
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I raise a toast to the rejects
Then boast on my regrets
And contemplate on consequences that I cannot see yet
Rocking with this 9 to 5 until I see emcee checks
But am I living my life a lie for accolades and respect
Don’t dance around the question don’t you deflect
I still envision catching rhymthym live on your TV set
I’m sitting with some liquor mixing shit I ain’t release yet
How could I stop when I ain’t reach my peak yet
I still got dreams
Of racking up 100 million streams
And women filling fitted denim busting out the seams
All lining up to line my bank account with plenty green
But it’s funny how my life keep finding ways to intervene
I’m setting up to settle down
With a wife that want stability
And I don’t wanna be the type to let her down
I need my pockets thicker than a triple feather down
With a narrow window to win I’m chasing my blessing now
But which way
To the payoff
Play it safe and work your way into a layoff
Pick a side
Do or die
Roll the dice yo
Sacrificing but you still don’t know the price bro
I've got a head full of stress
Just trying to make the best
Of what's left
And now I find myself,
once again,
At a fork in the road
I'm monologuing, tipping dominoes and cracking the codes
Spinning plates, wondering what is life
For my next trick, I'm gonna turn a fork to a butter knife
Because I mean, as much as I've been thinking the road splits
I'm slowly understanding it's illusion to omit
And that looks to be the only way to approach it
Moving right along
Now you see it and now you don't...
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12. |
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Cool cucumber chilling
Drinking all your porters
Superstitious, himalayan salt over my shoulders
Now all that I can do is let it breathe some
Feeling good, and really we've just begun
Addressing cornballs like, be gone
Live from The Barracks and the beyond
Heavy hitters watching the weak hop, skip, jump and freefall
While lightweights are quick to get ejected from their seesaws
Hype when it matters most
I invite any other animal to challenge this mighty, mighty matador
Loving the double duty, son of a human cannonball
Look at me, look at me, an intergalactic vagabond
Low vibes don't fly
Not to get on my soapbox,
But my crew's fire so I'm always shouting OPA!
Ghost out the spot without an au revoir
Forever how we do it and forever we don't stop...
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